October 17th, 2009: Leafs vs Rangers

I was out last night drinking tequila and Jack Daniels, so, in other words, I'm going to be staying in tonight and live blogging this game so be sure to check up on game time.

Here's the lines for tonight. Feel free to comment with your thoughts.

Jason Blake - Matt Stajan - Viktor Stalberg
Nik Hagman - Mikhail Grabovski - Alex Ponikarovsky
Niklas Wallin - John Mitchell - Lee Stempniak
Colton Orr - Wayne Primeau - Jay Rosehill

Kaberle - Komisarek
Beauchemin - White
Schenn - Finger

This marks the return of our opening night forward line-up. I'm happy to see the Wallin/Mitchell/Stempy line back (assuming Ron Wilson doesn't put them on the powerplay - Terry Fox finishes better than John Mitchell).

White is hopefully getting some well deserved extra icetime and will ignite Beauchemin like he did Schenn. Ian White is the man. Macdonald gets another start to prove himself. Here's to him.

As for Wilson's pregame speech? Forget it. Just play this:





FIRST INTERMISSION: Okay, so my niece cried for eighty minutes and I missed the first period. And we're losing. Fucking great. Unbelievable start to my first live blog. I have no idea what happened, but oh well, hopefully I'm good luck. Cherry playing the Rocky anthem was MONEY. I don't care what people say about him, he's even better in his crazy old age.

SECOND PERIOD
-Is there any way that Montreal vs Ottawa can have two losers? Someone should bulldoze the arena while they're in it. Maybe we should send Garnet Exelby to body check it. Oh no, but then we'd lose a lot of innocent Montreal/Ottawa fans. Oh no...

-Screw it. I just cracked a beer.("I feel bad for people who don't drink. When they wake up it's the best they'll feel all day").

-Stalberg is an absolute lunatic and he's got wheels like nobodies business. I think we've got a beauty kid.

-Stajan just tossed a pass that I bet Phil Kessel would have buried. MATTYYYYY.

-Brashear backs down from Colton Orr. You know it. Followed up with a big hit on Del Zotto by Primeau. This is what we need this line doing. Causing shit and making kids like Del Zotto nervous.

-God dammit. The Ugly Betty of the Staal family scores on McDonald. Luke Schenn's plus/minus has to be like minus infinite. We need someone making saves like King Henrik because I bet we're going to lose all our momentum. As I typed this he just made the exact same save on the other end.

-Wow. A powerplay goal against the Leafs! Shocker. Macdonald's legs are more open than the hookers outside the ice on Young Street.

-IAN WHITE.

-Boys look fired up all over again. Brashear turned down Orr but Colton and Jay Rosehill think that if they entice him at the same time he'll do both. Math!? Orr just got Brash to take a penalty. Colton Orr is our only signing right now who's doing what we signed him to do.

-Also, I cannot WAIT to see Where the Wild Things are. Then again, how a 90 minute movie got made out of a forty word book is beyond me. It is what it is.

-Stalberg flies to the net like Usain Bolt and almost goes roof daddy with one hand. What a kid. If we had that one, this game would be different. The crowd is getting into it now.

-Grabovski must be shooting a shampoo commercial after this game. Look at this kid! Fucking Rapunzel.

-Komisarek is making his case for captain with solid play and stitches that match his jersey.

-The bad news is Luke Schenn takes a penalty. The good news is he won't be killing it.

-Macdonald makes a big glove save and the Leafs fans applaud a big save for the first time since Ed Belfour left.

-Dear God. Ian White just took a puck to the moustache. Is this going to be like Rookie of the Year when the kids arm breaks and he loses his skill again? Stay tuned.

-Brashear isn't man enough to take on Orr or Rosehill. He decides to start chirping an already cut-up Mike Komisarek. Komisarek responds by audibly calling Brashear a "fucking bitch".

-To close out the 2nd, Matt Stajan gets punched in the face and responds with the intensity of a coma patient. Does he have any feelings? Seriously! He's catatonic.

3RD PERIOD

-Another goal with Schenn on the ice. His confidence has got to be hurting. Not good. Not to mention this really isn't the start we wanted.

-Why is Grabovski not moved to the wing yet? He's got to be the worst faceoff man in the league. It's like having Verne Troyer take faceoffs with his eyes closed and a huge mullett.

-When I'm making Verne Troyer references, we're in a bit of trouble. Speaking of trouble, our penalty kill has been that bad it's covered up the fact that our powerplay is brutal too.

-How rattled do the boys look on the bench? It's like the Breakfast club. Matt Stajan plays Emilio Estevez. Grabo can be Molly Ringwald. Now we just need Ron Wilson handing out detentions.

-Matt Stajan (the most electrifying man in hockey) tries to split through four Rangers. You know you're in hard shape when Stajan is the most exciting player on the ice.

-Hockey Night in Canada...in Punjabi...?

-This would be a different game if we had a goalie like Lundqvist making the saves he's had. This would be the Rangers 7th win in a row. Unreal.

-Del Zotto's visor is so small. He looks like that guy from Star Trek. It's like 1/20 the size of Dany Heatley's.

-Leafs fans get on their case as the Rangers have been in their zone since the cold war.

-Is anyone seeing this animal slow clap commercial? EASILY the best thing I've seen all night.

-Del Zotto's parents don't seem to care much about this game. They look like Matt Stajan's parents.

-I can't do this anymore. I'm going to let the last two minutes speak for themselves. All the best.

L&L