Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Your 2009 Leafs: Plus/Minus (Part II)



So, Captain Mats called it a career today. I'm not going to write a column on this but I can't just not mention it. Glad to see he retired quickly so we can just appreciate him for what he was instead of wondering what he's doing all year. Apparently this decision was made easier by an offer to tour Sweden in a public speaking circuit about the importance of quick decisions. Anyway.

The other day we went over the Leafs forwards and we're going to pick off right where we ended and review the blueline and goaltending. Part of me is surprised we've still got ten NHLish defencemen and I can't help but think someone is getting dealt fairly shortly. The most likely candidate is Ian White as he is low cost, coming off the books at the end of the year, and to be honest probably has the most value of any of the Leafs blueliners (minus the top four). Anyway, for now, we're all still here so let's get right down to it.

TOMAS KABERLE
+ Strong puck moving skills and the best first pass on the team
+ One of the NHL's finest PP quarterbacks
+ Has the same giant eyebrows as Peter Gallagher
+ Potential to have a break out season with some added toughness around him and without Cam Janssen trying to make him into the next Steve Moore
- Isn't Jeff Carter and a 1st Rounder

MIKE KOMISAREK
+ Gives Tomas Kaberle room to move forward with his stay-at-home style
+ Will piss off Montreal fans for years to come
+ Is a massive, physical, shot blocking defenceman
- Still smells like poutine and cigarettes

LUKE SCHENN
+ Can follow up on a strong rookie season with a strong defense corps around him both to learn from and to relieve him of excessive ice time
+ Can now buy beer in Canada
- Cannot buy beer in the US
+ Is Luke Schenn
- Sexually excites Pierre Maguire

FRANCOIS BEAUCHEMIN
+ Might be the sleeper pick for best free agent signing of the summer
+ Hammer slapshot brings me back to the Kaberle/McCabe days on the powerplay (minus McCabe's defensive woes and fetish for giveaways)
+ True complete player: offensive upside rounded out by solid defensive play
+ Great fighter (but understands he's too important to be taking a significant amount of five minute penalties)
- Sounds like he should play for Montreal
+ Doesn't play for Montreal

IAN WHITE
+ Moustache
+ Versatile, hard working, honest player
+ Great on the powerplay
- May get traded and make me cry
- May shave moustache and make me cry

GARNET EXELBY
+ The hardest hitting defenceman in the league (minus Dion Phaneuf)
+ No BS, "off the glass" puck clearing style
- Off-season diet composed of rocks and trees
- Pre-season diet composed of shinpads and Jason Allison's soul

JEFF FINGER
+ Actually has pretty strong numbers in points, hits, and blocked shots
+ Is a very solid bottom two defenceman
- Gets paid like a Norris Trophy winner

MIKE VAN RYN
+ Really strong offensive defenceman
- Will probably be the end of free health care in Canada

CARL GUNNARSSON
+ Strong preseason: he wouldn't still be on the roster otherwise
+ Reminds of me Gunnar Stahl of Mighty Ducks fame (Good game, Captain Duck)
- Won't make the team

VESA TOSKALA
+ Has the silliest interview voice since Dominik Hasek
+ Has a chance to prove himself now that he's finally healthy
+ Will hopefully get the same kind of competition with Gustavsson as he did with Nabokov
- Doesn't seem to enjoy stopping pucks
- Lacks size to the point that he looks like he should play on the Canadiens first line

JONAS GUSTAVSSON
+ Big goalie with great reflexes and rapid crease movement
+ Has the city of Toronto singing his name
- The Toronto fans may pressure him to the point that he curls up into a ball and either goes insane or gives up on hockey to focus on shooting Bootlegger ads.

JOEY MACDONALD
+ Strong season last year with an awful Islanders team
+ Strong preseason
+ Gives us the ability to trade Toskala if Gustavsson is as good as he's supposed to be
- Was put on Waivers to go to the Marlies and will probably be claimed as the Isle's 8th back-up

Also...LEAFS/HABS. TOMORROW.

L&L

Monday, September 28, 2009

Your 2009 Leafs: Plus/Minus (part I)


Okay, so it's been a while. Apologies to the readers, and thanks for your patience. However, I've started a new job and until you guys start clicking advertisements to the point I don't need to actually work then this may occur. But here's hoping we don't have to wait this long again. Fingers crossed. I guess in my absense the crucial thing that's happened is the Phil Kessel trade/signing. In the meantime, everyone and their mother has had their input on the trade, so I'm going to keep this brief:

BOSTON RECEIVES:
2010 1st Rounder
2010 2nd Rounder
2011 1st Rounder

TORONTO RECEIVES:
Phil Kessel
One of Phil Kessel's testicles

If you don't like this trade, you can suck it. Seriously. We have a true goal scorer on our roster (which we haven't had since...err...)who's 21 years old. 21. He's going to be our go to guy for goals for years to come and when he's going to be in his prime Bozak, Kadri, Stalberg, and co. will be heating up at the same time and we're going to be a powerhouse. In the meantime, Kessel is not a prospect. He scored 36 goals in the regular season, scored 11 pts in 11 playoff games, and yeah, he's 21. He's not only our best option for the future but he's also our best player right now.

I heard people say that it's like we traded Luke Schenn and Nazem Kadri for Kessel. Well, here's the issue with this: we still have Luke Schenn and Nazem Kadri - and Phil Kessel. All we've lost are three generic pimple-faced seventeen year olds being drafted 10th - 20th in the next couple drafts (which if you haven't heard aren't exactly deep draft years) which could be a Kadri/Schenn calibre player but is FAR more likely to be an Alex Steen/Luca Cereda player. Stop fretting and enjoy the deal. Things are looking up.

Speaking of how things are looking, let's have a look at the ups and downs of what we've got for the rest of the year up front.

JASON BLAKE
+ Loves to score goals
+ Loves Jason Blake
- Can't seem to find old goal scoring ability
- No one else likes Jason Blake

TYLER BOZAK
+ Unbelievable hockey IQ and playmaking skills
+ Slowly becoming my favorite Leaf
- Cut off sweet hockey hair
- Two way contract and lack of experience makes him likely to start as a Marlie (though I doubt for long)

MIKHAIL GRABOVSKI
+ Coming off a strong yet inconsistent offensive season
+ Will battle for #1 centre job with Matt Stajan
+ Equal passion for hockey and citrus fruit
- Spent more time on the ice during pre-season then the zamboni
+ Seemingly enjoyed this punishment (AKA: Not giving a fuckulence)

NIKLAS HAGMAN
+ Scored the greatest goal in the history of hockey
+ Can play in the top six and bottom six
- I can't claim a minus for Hagman as I fear PPP will refuse to plug my blog

PHIL KESSEL
+ 36 Goals
- 1 Testicle

NIKOLAI KULEMIN
+ Added 20 lbs to his frame in the off-season
+ Once drew comparisons to Evgeni Malkin
- Spent the pre-season pretending to be Lee Stempniak
- Is nowhere near as skilled as Malkin
+ Is nowhere near as ugly as Malkin

JASON ALLISON
- Isn't actually on the team: Allison has yet to complete his skate off the ice since being cut

JOHN MITCHELL
+ Is the best mediocre centre in the NHL
- Is the most lethal soccer player on the Toronto Maple Leafs

COLTON ORR
+ Kills people
- Projected to score 75 goals and may make Jason Blake jealous

ALEXEI PONIKAROVSKY
+ A 6'3 Ukrainian covered in blood adds a lot to the Leafs new tough image
- Ponikarovsky adds nothing to the Leafs new tough image

WAYNE PRIMEAU
+ Adds grit and experience
+ Helps our lackluster PK
- Re-enforces Brian Burke's eternal hard-on for using the crappier brother in a checking role
- Spends his personal time sitting in a museum on display

JAY ROSEHILL
+ Unbelievable physical presence
+ Completely fearless
+ Much like Wade Belak, can play both forward and defence
- Much like Wade Belak, completely inept at both positions

VIKTOR STALBERG
+ Finished 2nd in pre-season scoring
+ Unbelieably fast
+ Defensively responsible
+ Uses big frame to his advantage
+ Plays a physical game
- ...

MATT STAJAN
+ Could turn some heads with surprising play as the teams #1 centre
- Is more likely to break my heart and get traded before December

LEE STEMPNIAK
+ Appears to have decided he wants to play hockey this year
- Still the guy that was nearly outscored by Carlo Crippleacovo last year

JIRI TLUSTY
+ Potential to be an unbelievable player
- Now wanders aimlessly around the ice as if he's debating a career switch to the porn industry

RICKARD WALLIN
+ Helped bring Jonas Gustavsson to the Leafs
+ Wilson praises his positional play
- Wallin is always so perfectly in position that he cannot be captured by the human eye

JAMAL MAYERS
+ Has a cool nickame (Jammer)
+ Looks like a black Mr. Clean
- Jamal Mayers sucks

Stay tuned for Part II in the next couple days...

L&L

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

From the Top to the Bottom


Since Brian Burke arrived in Toronto, nearly everything he has said has been speculated, torn apart, and gone into more than Elisha Cuthbert at an NHLPA meeting. Burke arrived in Toronto with a clear agenda regarding what he wanted his team to be. Burke preaches three things, primarily:

1) Player Accountability
2) Team Toughness
3) Top Six/Bottom Fix Format

He's said it time and time again: "I build my team top six and bottom six". The general idea is that the skilled players make up the top six (Anaheim: Selanne, Getzlaf, Perry) and six players who are hard-nosed, responsible players make up the bottom six (Moen, Pahlsson, Rob Niedermayer). Since Burke arrived, we've spent the summer looking over our forwards and classifying them as top six/bottom six. So let's go right ahead and categorize the players who have any shot whatsoever at making the team.

Top Six: Grabovski, Bozak, Kulemin, Stalberg, Tlusty, Stempniak, Blake
Bottom Six: Wallin, Hanson, Orr, Primeau, Mayers, Mitchell

Yes, that's only thirteen forwards. And between Bozak, Kulemin, Tlusty, Stalberg and Hanson, I'm guessing at least two of them are heading to the Marlies. Not to mention if I have to watch Lee Stempniak float around with Harry Potter's invisibility cloak another year I'm not going to be pleased. Not to mention my irrational hatred for Jamal Mayers. To hell with Jamal Mayers. I'd trade him for Bryan Berards left eye. I've placed three in the grey area.

Grey Area: Alexei Ponikarovski, Niklas Hagman, Matt Stajan

These are players that are; on a decent team, third liners. However, they have the ability to step up to the top two "skilled lines". Bozak, Kulemin, Blake, Hanson, and even John Mitchell could potentially be in this area but they're more clearly defined. But to take a look at those players, I'd consider them to be three of our top performers last year. So, do we limit their icetime because they play a harder style?

This brings me to my point. Burke builds his teams top six/bottom six. That doesn't mean that Ron Wilson makes his line combinations built on that. If you ask me our best five proven forwards and our six forwards most likely to be considered "top six material", it looks like this.

BEST: Blake, Poni, Hagman, Grabovski, Stajan
TOP6: Grabovski, Blake, Kulemin, Tlusty, Bozak

Of course, this is all opinion based... but the theory is there: the top six players are not always the best six players. And the "top six players" may not necessarily be logging the most ice time or even be playing on the same lines. While I feel roughly half of Burke's forwards nails and the other half hammers, it's up to Wilson if he wants to make a line with a hammer and two nails.
And if Colton Orr comes out every night and scores three goals, you better believe he's going to be playing on the first line.
-

L&L