Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Maple Leafian Rhapsody

BURKE
Is this the real life?
Or just MLSE?
TOSKALA
I'm in a slump,
there's no way you won't score on me.
GUSTAVSSON
Ron open your eyes,
I'm the number one guy, you seeee?
WILSON
I'm just the coach
I don't know what to do with our D
BEACHEMIN
Because I'm awful pinch, easy goal
Sometimes I'm good, sometimes no
TLUSTY
Any time my dick shows,
doesn't really matter to me,
to me...
ROSEHILL
Burkie, just killed a Hab.
Put my fists into his head,
He looks like he might be dead.
MOEN
Burkie, life had just begun...
I should never went and signed with Montreal.
MAPLE LEAFS
Burkie, ooh,
Didn't mean to make you cry,
If we don't beat the Sens this time tomorrow,
carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters.
BURKE
Too late, your time has come.
WILSON
You'll be riding on the pine.
BURKE
Or be gone at the deadline.
WILSON
Goodbye, everybody, you've got to go.
BURKE
You can watch the game with me up in the booth.
LEAFS FANS
Burkie, ooooh.
We don't wanna die,
without seeing the Stanley Cup at all.
WILSON
I see a little silhouetto of a man,
Grabovski! Grabovski!
I wish you would keep your head up.
ORR
Now it's time for fighting,
who's ready to take on me?
BURKE
Colton Orro, Colton Orro!
Colton Orr with the KO!
BLAKE
I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me.
BURKE
Blake, you're not poor, no,
you're making 4.3!
Let's clear our cap from this monstrosity.
WHITE
Easy come, easy go.
Watch my moustache grow.
SCHENN
Lombardi, no!
Let my brother go! (Let Brayden go!)
KOMISAREK
Come on ref, no!
I'm in the box alone (he's alone!)
KADRI
Oh Burkie no!
Got sent back to the O (To the O!)
KESSEL
Chiarelli no!
Why won't you let me go?
Why won't you let me go?
Why won't you let me go?
BURKE
Phil-KESSEL's here!
And he's coming back to score forty...
Forty...
Forty!
*Luke Schenn guitar solo*
KESSEL
Don't you think you can stop me when I'm on the fly!
KOMISAREK
If you touch Kaberle,
then you're gonna die!
Whoaaaa baby.
WHITE
Garnet Exelby's crazy.
LEAFS FANS
Just gotta get it right, just gotta get it right this year!
*Matt Stajan piano riff*
LEAFS NATION
Nothing really matters, nothing else this year.
The playoffs are what matters, the playoffs are what matters...
To me.
TLUSTY
Any time my dick....shows....
FADE OUT.

4 comments:

  1. ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

    -Spence

    ReplyDelete
  2. Any time Queen is used, I heartily approved. Also loved Tlusty's cameo and Luke Schenn's guitar solo

    ReplyDelete
  3. Somewhere, Freddie Mercury is smiling down on us with his awesome moustache.

    ReplyDelete