Maple Leafian Rhapsody

BURKE

Is this the real life?

Or just MLSE?

TOSKALA

I'm in a slump,

there's no way you won't score on me.

GUSTAVSSON

Ron open your eyes,

I'm the number one guy, you seeee?

WILSON

I'm just the coach

I don't know what to do with our D

BEACHEMIN

Because I'm awful pinch, easy goal

Sometimes I'm good, sometimes no

TLUSTY

Any time my dick shows,

doesn't really matter to me,

to me...

ROSEHILL

Burkie, just killed a Hab.

Put my fists into his head,

He looks like he might be dead.

MOEN

Burkie, life had just begun...

I should never went and signed with Montreal.

MAPLE LEAFS

Burkie, ooh,

Didn't mean to make you cry,

If we don't beat the Sens this time tomorrow,

carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters.

BURKE

Too late, your time has come.

WILSON

You'll be riding on the pine.

BURKE

Or be gone at the deadline.

WILSON

Goodbye, everybody, you've got to go.

BURKE

You can watch the game with me up in the booth.

LEAFS FANS

Burkie, ooooh.

We don't wanna die,

without seeing the Stanley Cup at all.

WILSON

I see a little silhouetto of a man,

Grabovski! Grabovski!

I wish you would keep your head up.

ORR

Now it's time for fighting,

who's ready to take on me?

BURKE

Colton Orro, Colton Orro!

Colton Orr with the KO!

BLAKE

I'm just a poor boy, nobody loves me.

BURKE

Blake, you're not poor, no,

you're making 4.3!

Let's clear our cap from this monstrosity.

WHITE

Easy come, easy go.

Watch my moustache grow.

SCHENN

Lombardi, no!

Let my brother go! (Let Brayden go!)

KOMISAREK

Come on ref, no!

I'm in the box alone (he's alone!)

KADRI

Oh Burkie no!

Got sent back to the O (To the O!)

KESSEL

Chiarelli no!

Why won't you let me go?

Why won't you let me go?

Why won't you let me go?

BURKE

Phil-KESSEL's here!

And he's coming back to score forty...

Forty...

Forty!

*Luke Schenn guitar solo*

KESSEL

Don't you think you can stop me when I'm on the fly!

KOMISAREK

If you touch Kaberle,

then you're gonna die!

Whoaaaa baby.

WHITE

Garnet Exelby's crazy.

LEAFS FANS

Just gotta get it right, just gotta get it right this year!

*Matt Stajan piano riff*

LEAFS NATION

Nothing really matters, nothing else this year.

The playoffs are what matters, the playoffs are what matters...

To me.

TLUSTY

Any time my dick....shows....

FADE OUT.